Monday, July 20, 2009

A Dream About Violence

Last night, I had a strange dream.

It was someone's wedding day and they held the reception at my parent's house in Illinois where we have large yards, a barn, two machine sheds, cornfields and an out of use chicken house. Lots of hiding places. This became useful in the dream when the festivities actually began. I will try and describe this the best that I can.

So this game is every man for himself. Everybody spreads apart, kind of like hide n' seek, and hides while one person searches everybody out. The weird thing is that rather than just finding them and saying, "you're it," the person must inflict enough harm on the person they find that would normally result in their death. However, in this game, rather than dying, they now join forces with the team that seeks out hiders. Once you've joined the seeking team, your wounds heal and you become evil all of a sudden.
Now two seekers are looking for people to "kill." And then three, and the four....

Over enough time, the seeker team builds itself an army. The catch here is that when you become a seeker, your regular senses are of no use to you anymore. You sense movement from all directions and you sense panic. With that said, the main skill that the hider must worry about is finding a hiding spot that has many exit points and sitting there quietly and still while at the same time trying to remain calm.

The fun thing is that the hiders aren't just sitting ducks. It's all fair game. They can hit back just as much. The only difference is that once a hider "kills" a seeker, the seeker is dead.

Now as for me, I manage to remain a hider for the entirety of the dream. My weapon is a giant crescent wrench that weighs about ten pounds. I just hit everybody over the head and that usually does it for them. A second hit was sometimes necessary.

What's even stranger is that nobody in the dream sees this as an act of violence. It's all a game. Some people are just spectators that cheer and laugh and get excited as the game escalates.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wiper Fluid

5:45 a.m. - Alarm Goes Off - SNOOZE
5:50 a.m. - Alarm Goes Off - SNOOZE
5:55 a.m. - Alarm Goes Off - SNOOZE
6:00 a.m. - Alarm Goes Off - SNOOZE
6:05 a.m. - Alarm Goes Off - Continue laying with my eyes closed waiting for it one more time.



Got my wallet, keys, computer, book, phone.


Forgot sunglasses. Walk back.


Buy juice and cigarettes. 7 bucks.

Begin hour - hour and ten minute drive to work.

So this is where I will begin. I don't think it matters how old I get or how extensively I attempt to train myself. I will never be a morning person.
Don't ask me questions.
Don't tell me jokes.
Don't turn the lights on.
Turn the TV down.
Don't lecture me.
Just keep your distance.
So my drive usually begins with me selecting the music for the day. It sometimes takes a while.

Today's Choice:
The Notwist - Neon Golden

If you're not familiar with this band or this album, it's like a mellow more band oriented version of the Postal Service. If that means nothing to you, it's kind of electronic but there's still clearly instruments being played and the vocals are smooth and relaxing...he sings like the way a person talks when there deeply upset about something, exerting the most minimal amount of sound before it simply becomes a whisper. Something you can really zone out to....and that is just what I did.

The sun was directly in front of me and still in its beginning stages of rising. Had I not gone back inside to get the sun glasses there would have been a good chance of me going blind. However, because I was not being blinded, I noticed that my windshield was quite filthy. You would think that because this is titled 'Wiper Fluid,' this would be where the wiper fluid come into the story.

But it isn't.

However, I did not clean the filth off because I have shit wiper blades that just smear and turn my windshield in to a window covered in a weird transparent paint. It's not good when you're doing 70 and people are driving like idiots anyway.


And then it happens. And when I tell you what happens, you are going to completely disappointed in me.
About two lanes over from me. I see the bright ass sun reflecting a bunch of mist flying from the roof of a little blue car's roof. It went on for about 4 to 5 seconds and then stopped. Obviously this was the result of someone who wasn't so willing to let their windshield be covered in bug guts and bird shit. The Wiper Fluid. This is what it was about the whole time.

.....but only because those 3 to 4 seconds it took me to process that it was simply wiper fluid, I was completely mystified. Really, I said to myself, "whoa." And that is because I have never in my life seen this happening. It is such a tiny insignificant thing that I can guarantee happens a million times a day and yet I've never witnessed it.

I then noticed the red car that trailed the little blue car. And I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Or was he just pissed that his windshield is now beaded with water droplets, causing him to clean his windshield as well? And what if he has shit wiper blades too, he doesn't see a trail of brake lights popping on in front of him, slowly making their way to him until it's too late and he rear-ends someone, who is then late for work, and because this guy was late for work, maybe he works at UPS and a shipment went out late, and because the shipment went out late, a package on it's way to whoever it is going to breaks inside it's box because the driver couldn't avoid hitting a dead animal in the road that had just been killed seconds before, and because the package was broken, the customer who bought it will be angry or upset the rest of the day, causing them to do something completely different than what they would normally do, which would then effect something else and the something else....

ANDSOMETHINGANDSOMETHINGANDSOMETHING....all because of some tiny drops of water.

This thought went through my head way faster than it took you to read it but probably much more broad. And I then went on with the rest of my day.

6:45 p.m. - 15 minutes left of work.
6:46 p.m. - Only a minute has passed. Check facebook.
6:48 p.m. - 12 minutes. Stop looking at the clock.
6:48 and 2 seconds p.m. - Go to the bathroom. Wash hands thoroughly. Dry well.
6:57 p.m. - Pack up computer. Throw away trash. Push in my chair. Grab a fresh water bottle out of the refrigerator......and....and.....and....7:00 p.m. - GO HOME

So now, the sun is setting. It's silhouetting the mountains and is actually really beautiful if you just sit back and pay attention to it. And not in a descriptive poetry kind of way, it just is really a sight for sore eyes. And it's different here. The sunsets, as much as I'd like to not believe it, are way better in California. I don't even know how or why or in what way. They just are. But you have to pay attention or you'll miss it.

So same routine as before. On the way back I switch music.

Devendra Banhart - Rejoicing in the Hands

I successfully zone out to Devendra as well, only this time smoking more cigarettes. A long day of doing almost nothing is a lot more stressful than you might think. But once you get out of the traffic, it's a great drive that time of day. I pretty much get to see the sunset everyday.

So I'm digging everything that's going on right now and I'm zoned out. And I was changing lanes, water droplets started accumulating on my windshield. Having just turned the turn signal, I checked to make sure I didn't just accidentally spray it on myself. That wasn't the case. And it definitely wasn't raining.
No, the car in front of me also can't stand a dirty windshield. And with the sun in my face for the second time today, I couldn't see and I had to use my wipers. And there was smearing, and temporary opacity. But eventually I could see.

And I drove the rest of the way home, not hearing Devendra at all anymore.